Wrapping up 2014

What a year!

This year I crossed the Mississippi river for the first time and crossed three states off my travel list as I packed up mine and my husband's lives and moved westward from Alabama to Texas. This is the first time I've lived so far away from my friends and family and let me tell you, it has been a learning experience. I think everyone should do this at least once in their lives.

I have learned not only how strong I can be, but that weakness is ok too. I've learned how far a leap of faith can take you and sometimes not everything is as good as it seems. I've learned that picking your battles does not mean you are a doormat, nor does it mean that you weren't right in the first place. I've learned that I am only as great as my effort. Most importantly, I've learned how to trust quickly. I've never been a very trusting person. Everyone has an agenda, right? Not so much. Packing up and moving to a place you've never seen, working with people you've only met via email and a phone call, and living in a town where you absolutely know no one will give you a different perspective on people. I'm not saying my sense of awareness has been lowered. I think it has been heightened, but at the same time I'm able to open up to others more... That probably makes no sense.

So, in my usual end of the year fashion, I've created my annual year in photos video. I hope this upcoming year brings you joy, happiness, prosperity, and most of all - love. Be blessed.

How this Scrooge won Christmas

I mentioned last week here that I've been a homesick scrooge lately.  What I didn't mention is I went through my lonely bag of Christmas things I saved from our move from Opelika. We were in such a hurry and had many mixed emotions raging during the move, that I only packed the Christmas things that had meaning to me. Two of these things were ornaments from my childhood that I had dug out of ornament storage our first Christmas together. We had tried for a few years to keep a Christmas tree, but with the cats it always ended up knocked down or the tree lights chewed up where they no longer worked. So, we have put Christmas trees on permanent hiatus.

While I was rummaging around through my Christmas bag I found my childhood ornaments and decided they were not meant for me to keep. My dad has very few if any mementos or even pictures from mine or my brother's childhood. So, I wrapped them up in tissue paper, framed a photo that also found of us in 1990 in Florida, and framed three pictures from last summer's graduation and sent them through the mail. I also send framed pictures to Buddy's parents and my Grandma.

I checked the tracking number on all three presents each day to see if they had arrived yet. When they did I called each of them to see what Santa brought them. Buddy's mom hadn't got home from work yet and no one at home was answering the phone, so we called her at work to make sure she checked the porch. Grandma had placed the tissue paper wrapped presents under the tree and was going to wait till Christmas to open them, but I convinced her she wanted to see what it was before hand. She opened each of the photos with an aw and cried by the time she got to the end of them. I told her that I wanted to make sure that if she couldn't see us for Christmas she could at least look at us. She was very glad she didn't wait till Christmas and cry in front of everyone.

Diddy (Dad) was the last one I called and he said the box was under the tree. They hadn't even opened the box it was shipped in! I told him he had to at least open the two little ones before Christmas, so they opened the box and scared the crap out of me when he said there weren't two little ones in the box. My heart sank into the pit of my belly and I just wanted to cry. Those were irreplaceable! But then Sally turned the box upside down and they slid out. Whew!

He opened up the first one to which I asked if he recognized it. He said he didn't and asked if he should. Granted, the first one was a plain gold bell that had my name inscribed and the year we they had got it, 1984. So, it was a little difficult for even my decent vision to see the words on it. But the second one...The second one was from my kindergarten year (1987). My teacher had drawn animals from our thumb prints and put them in a tiny frame. Mine was a mouse. When he opened the second ornament all I heard was "The Mouse!" and then garble, the sound like the phone fell on the floor. Y'all! I made my Diddy cry! I wasn't necessarily looking for him to cry, making him happy - totally, crying, not so much. He didn't want to open the others till Christmas, so they are still under the tree. So even though we are not going to see our families for the holidays. I totally won the daughter of the year award and this scrooge won Christmas.

I got this picture about an hour after he opened his presents.

More updates to come, so until then have a great week and blessed be.

Holiday woes

I honestly do not know where last month went. Between the school work, take home tests, learning TWO new modeling programs (which I still don't know how to use well), Dragon Age: Inquisition, and everything in between, November came and went in the blink of an eye.

Now it's December, finals are over, and Christmas is around the corner. I am not a holiday person by any means. I do not like surprises, I don't get excited over carols, trees, or decorating the house. I don't remember getting excited about these things except for when I was little, but it still gave me panic attacks. The list of things I do like around Christmas time is short: other people's Christmas lights and making sweets. That's it. The end. Bah Humbug. I know, I'm a scrooge.

But this year I haven't seen my family and friends in almost a year and I'm awfully homesick. I have tried to figure out how to make it home for the holidays. However, with classes not starting back and my loan money not coming in until the end of January, hotel and registration fees for a conference in February being due in January, nicer clothes for that conference and another in January, and being able to have tuition for this summer's classes saved....it's just not going to happen.

I was so ready to leave Alabama and now I would give almost anything to go back for just a few days. Don't get me wrong. I love being out here. I love the anonymity, not having to look over my shoulder when I go out for someone I know and don't want to bump into, not having the same questions being asked "what are you going to do after school", "when are you going to have kids"....

I know it's just homesickness and I'm sure it will pass, but I'm just so bummed right now. How do you deal with homesickness and missing those that you love?

Gosh I had a lot of pictures to post! I hope you enjoy, have a happy holiday, and blessed be.

early November when the leaves were still green

I've been trying to get back to taking "first light" or sunrise pictures

Normal kitty business here

There's two of me!!!

This November was how I remembered it when I was growing up: cold and drizzly

I was a little drunk, but I love it

Music

Short title I know, but really that's what I wanted to talk about today. See, the last couple of years I've made a video incorporating my favorite pictures of the year to the music of a song that represented my year. I don't know about you, but some songs can bring back some of the best and worst memories. Sometimes they can bring back things I haven't thought about in years.

Today for instance, a commercial came on the TV and had "You are my sunshine" playing. I teared up. Granted, I may be a little hormonal, but geesh! I don't just tear up for no good reason. It just reminded me of Grandma rocking me for comfort. I guess I'll give her a call tomorrow.

I also have this theory I like to call God's jukebox. I think that the universe listens and tries to communicate back and help you along. Case and point: The first time I noticed God's jukebox it was the day before my 18th birthday. I had forsaken my usual family get together in order to spend my special day with my boyfriend at the time. He was supposed to call me that day and we would make plans, but he never did. No one knew where he was. I was so angry and upset that he had yet again blew me off, but this time on my birthday! At this time I was working at a clock and rug store at the outlet mall and they had speakers outside that always played music. When I walked outside to lock up for the night and take the deposit to the drop box, "This will be the last time" by the Rolling Stones was playing. The Stones are one of my all time favorite bands and the song hit me like a ton of bricks to the chest. I stopped, listened for a second, nodded, and agreed. It would be the last time. Only I was stupid and took him back two weeks later, but I digress.

Another time God's jukebox struck me was in 2007. I came home for a weekend and had decided to move back home from Montgomery. A friend of mine and I went to a bar to see someone I had a past with before. I know, I'm a horrible person, oh freaking well. When we got to the bar, the band was playing "If you could only See" by Tonic. This song meant so many things to me when we had been "together" and I thought it was a sign. It was, but not for the reasons I thought. After downing a few, the band started playing "Turn the Page" by Bob Segar. This was my sign that it was past time to move on and literally turn the freaking page.

There have been many more times God's jukebox has helped me along my path (mine and my husband's wedding song, moving on from family issues...) Seriously, the list could go on and on, but those are a few that stick out vividly in my mind.

Wow, I got on a tangent there. Where I was going with this post is that I'm starting early in the song finding process. It usually takes me 2-3 days to narrow it down to one that A)is as long as the video I want B)has been released in if not the same year then within the last 2 years and C)sums up my year. Year before last it was "Mountain Sound" by Of Monsters and Men. That year we had a falling out with almost half my family, classes were getting crazy, Buddy went through at least 2 job changes, and it seemed like EVERYONE we knew was getting married. Seriously, it was the year of the wedding - 3 of our couple friends in 3 months - crazy I tell you. This song is upbeat and looking back at the end of the year I realized that our lives aren't anything like anyone else's so I didn't need to compare and I needed to slow down and breathe once in a while despite the chaos. Last year's song was "Round and Round" by Imagine Dragons. I had a lot more time to reflect last year. Plant ecology almost killed me, I made a lot of lifetime friends, I finally got my bachelor's degree, and then we started planning for the next step in our future. Looking back at the end of that year I was reminded that though we are all different we are all on this crazy life roller coaster, everything that you put out into the universe comes back to you, and that no matter what has happened you should hold your head up and wear your scars proudly. I can't listen to either of these songs with out the images of those years popping up in my head. They really fit perfectly.

This year I started making a list back in June of songs that would come across my Pandora list that I really liked. I thought this would help, but I think it's really complicated things. I have some really good ones, some really solemn ones, and some that may be a little to chipper.  This song, "The Stable Song" by Gregory Alan Isakov sounds like fall to me. It's folksy and feels like a hot cup of coffee on the porch on a cool fall day. Then there's this one "Take it as it comes" by J. Roddy Walston and the business. It's a little more catchy, but it's fitting.

I know I still have a month and these two are not the only ones on my list. I figured I would put this out for you and the universe and see what feedback I get. Do you have a song(s) that bring back deep memories, signify a life event, or even an entire year? What would you choose as your song of the year? What do you think about these two songs? I want to know!

Here are a few pictures of the week. Enjoy, blessed be, and have a great weekend!

Trail view

My awesome hat my lab mate Rain made :)

Of course its always the biggest furbaby that is the only one willing to snuggle.

Fall reflections

I snuck out of the office early enough (515!) to catch the sun set

Attempting to get into shape

I'm a curvy girl, always have been. The best shape I was in was my senior year of high school through my freshman year of college. My first job was at a clock and rug store at the outlet mall. Between lifting and hanging rugs, climbing ladders, drinking a ton if water and living off popcorn and crackers, I shed a lot of weight. So much weight that my boss asked me if I glad an eating disorder. I maintained my loss through my freshman year of college because I was so shy I refused to eat or even go to the cafeteria alone. 

When I met my ex I got seriously comfortable and put on the pounds. I've pretty much continued on this no exercise struggle since then. When I worked at the hospital I walked all day so I didn't want to come home and walk more. I would occasionally take the dog for a walk up the road, but we had a large enough yard he could get plenty of excercise with out a walk. 

Then I started school again and was way to busy studying to do anything else. Plus we had plenty of yard still for Luna to play in when we got her. When I graduated I was so damn depressed with our living situation and not being able to land an assistantship or internship that the best I did was hike once a week and volunteer with the raptor center once a week. 

Now I have no excuse. Sure I have a ton of stuff to work on, but I only have two classes two days a week. When I got back from field season I started strong, walking Luna every day, drinking more water and less tea. First I twisted my ankle, then I hurt my back and I started on my downward spiral again. I wasn't walking as much and tea was my best friend again. 

One of my lab mates is a trail runner. That sounds fun, I thought to myself. I like trails. I have NEVER been a runner. EVER. Even at my best I only jogged. So I downloaded the couch to 5k (c25k) app. I have heard wonderful things about the program and wanted to give it a whirl for myself. Basically what it does is slowly acclimate your body to running. You only do 3 days a week for 30 min each day. The first week is 5 min warm up, 60 seconds of jogging, 90 seconds of walking for 20 min, then a 5 min cool down. 

The first day I tried on trail. I followed all but two of the prompts and was exhausted afterwards. The next time I decided I needed to ease into trails so I hit the pavement. My knees thanked me! Pavement offers less resistance so my calves didn't cramp up near as much. When it came to do day 3 I had so much school work (midterms) that I missed a week. 

I started back on day 1 (it's also ok to repeat weeks which I like) the other day and it wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be. My legs didn't cramp at all! So today I decided to go back on trail. Of course my second prompt to jog was mid hill (ugh) and the trail had a lot of hills, sand, and leaves (fall-duh) so there was much more resistance. My distance was only maybe 0.07 miles shorter than on pavement and I walked further after my cool down time. My legs cramped horribly and I thought about just walking the rest of the way after the third jog prompt. But I continued to do the prompts. I found that I was looking at my phone less and less to see how much longer my jog was and I would be surprised when it would prompt for walk because it didn't feel like I had been jogging for the full minute! 

I have decided to keep easing into trails so I'll only do c25k on trails on Fridays when I usually take a personal/errand day anyway. Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Wednesdays I'll either hike or do c25k on pavement. That way I'll have a "rest" day in between c25k but I'm still getting excercise and fresh air. 

As I get further into graduate school the more I realize how much a few hours of personal outside time is needed. It's good to get involved with your work, but not to let it consume you. Sometimes you need time to reflect on what you're doing and why. Zen moment! 

I hope you all have a great weekend, a happy Halloween, and until next time blessed be. 

My first aster bloomed after almost 2 months!!

Happy late birthday to me!

Buddy's been sick so I made us some hot spiked apple cider. It was yum. 

Back porch view while cooling off from c25k this morning. 

The Serenity saga continues...(and it's her birth month!!)

So, if you've kept up with the Serenity saga (starting here and updated here and here) we've had to keep track of here urinating on the floor, AGAIN. For about two weeks she was doing it every day if not twice a day. I can't stand even smelling a litter box, so this was driving me insane. I kept trying to catch her in the act just to make sure she wasn't hanging her ass out of the litter box or to see if she was straining. The first would be a behavioral issue and the second would be a medical one. But, every time I would stick my head in the bathroom to see what she was doing she would run out of the room.

Cats are both the simplest and most difficult companion animals ever. Simplest because if you give them food, water, and a litter box they are good to go. Hell, if you go one step further and give them a box with some cat nip, they are in heaven and may only bug you for some lap time snuggles or warn you that their food is low. Most difficult because they will NOT tell you when something is wrong with the exception of their food bowl being low. The only outward signs they show are weight loss or those that can be explained away as behavioral issues.

So, I called the vet again. I told them the meds worked wonderfully and she only had a few accidents after the meds were done, yet she was now urinating outside the box again. We were given 5 days of medications that only had to be squirted on the gums, which is wonderful for a cat who clenches everything up when you've got her held down in a head lock. All throughout the medication she peed on the floor! I was beyond exasperated! You can't punish them. It either makes them associate with the litter box negatively or just pisses them off.

Finally, on the last day of the medications, I did another total clean of the bathroom. Sunday is usually my cleaning day, but I went all out on the bathroom. I even emptied the litter box and sanitized it even though it had not been that long ago since I had previously did it. Instead of cleaning the floors with the usual floor cleaner I got the strongest "clean" smell I could find...Pine Sol. I HAND MOPPED the floor TWICE. When I put her litter box back I turned it catty-cornered so that the entrance was facing the entrance of the bathroom. I thought maybe if it's set up so that its easier to get in she'll do better.

I also grabbed a bag of catnip while at the store. Georgie was always the one that loved catnip while Serenity just sniffed at it and stayed out of Georgie's way. But she ate it up....literally. It's funny how cats change when they are by themselves.

YA'LL! I don't know which step actually did it, but it worked!! We went from every day while on medication to no days while not on medication! I am over joyed! It's crazy how finicky cats are. But I love them.

This month also celebrates her 7th birthday! She is officially a "mature" cat. I can't remember exactly when we got Serenity and Georgie, but I know its when the nights started to get cold enough for me to wear a coat outside, so I just sum it up to be late October or early November.

I hope you all are having as good a week as we are here! Here are some pictures from last time I left you. Have a great week and blessed be!
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Things I didn't learn

Last week I had a button fall off on one I my favorite pairs of jeans. The original button had been replaced by my mother-in-law about a year ago because 1) I didnt have a sewing kit and 2) I had no idea how to do it myself. 

I couldn't just throw these pants away. They are a little too long, but comfy and slimming. Two things every girl looks for in a pair of pants. I also had a few pairs that have torn from my thunder thighs wearing that area thin. 

So I stopped at Hobby Lobby Friday during my usual errand run and picked up some pins and a small sewing kit. I've patched pants before, but had to YouTube a video on how to sew a button. 

I was so excited when I did it on the first try!! Then I got to thinking. Why didn't I learn this when I was growing up? I remember my mother replacing buttons for me and my brother growing up. I even used her sewing kit she left behind when we were living in my childhood home. Then I remembered, she didn't like me using her sewing kit before because I would mess it up and make a mess. 

I know I was a very independent child. If I didn't know how to do something I wanted you to show me and then let me do it myself. I'm still the same way. It's how I learn. 

I also know we were taught some sewing techniques in high school in some antiquated home making class. That has been, oh god, ages ago. 

Maybe it was because I didn't show interest in it or maybe because my parents thought I would burn down/blow up/destroy the house. Or maybe there are some things you just learn as a necessity? I'm not sure. What I am sure of is I will learn and then teach my own children (if/when I should have them).